Happiness Through Thanksgiving

The older I get the more empathy and thankfulness seem to be dying.

Yesterday morning we heard a man talk about how we should do things without grumbling and complaining.  Wise words!  We all know people who are constantly complaining.  Jacob and I have always taught our children to be thankful for what they have.  No, we don't live in the nicest neighborhood in town (which, honestly, is fine with me). We don't live in a big, fancy house (again  . . . I'm okay with that).  However, we DO have a roof over our heads.  We have food on our table.  We don't sleep on the floor because we have beds; we even have blankets and pillows. My children have clean clothes and shoes.  Indoor plumbing?  Yup, we have that too.  Clean drinking water, fresh air, heating and air conditioning . . . the list goes on and on. We take a lot of things for granted, people!  We have so many things that people in other parts of the world (some right here in our own country) don't have and yet, we pout and complain because we think we deserve more.  Why?  We have what we need and them some!

Children have to be reminded from time to time that not only can they not have EVERYTHING they want, but they also need to stop and take time to be thankful for ALL that they have. I do not want to raise children who expect everything they want and feel depressed when they don't get it. That is no way to live -- and we only have one life. There is so much more to life than the amount of stuff you have! I want my children to look around and see all the things in which they have been blessed. They live in a society that focuses on material gain.  I want my children to be content with what they have and not waste precious time grumbling about what they don't have or grumbling about some one doing something that they didn't like. The truth is that some adults are far worse than children when it comes to this.

Let's stop focusing on what we don't have and start paying more attention to all that we DO have.  Let's stop filling the air around us with constant grumbling and complaining and start finding happiness by being thankful for what we have.  Let's raise a generation of happy children who see what they have instead of what they don't have.

What are YOU thankful for today?

“We would worry less if we praised more. Thanksgiving is the enemy of discontent and dissatisfaction.” 
― Harry A. Ironside

My Life Is a Sitcom

Yesterday morning I woke up feeling exhausted, which isn't the norm for me.  I thought nothing of it, drank my coffee and dived head first into my day (because, hey, I have three kids and you seriously just have to dive in).  We did the usual hustle and bustle of breakfast and getting ready for school and once the boys were at school I came home and knocked a couple of things off my to do list. I played with Kaitlyn for a bit and then put her down for a nap.

Shortly after putting her down I started to feel really fatigued again. I did what most people do.  I shrugged my shoulders and kept doing what I was doing.  Shortly after my chest started hurting.  "It has to be heartburn or something," I thought.  I took some medicine and texted Jacob at work.  Not too long after the chest pains started my right arm started to feel weird.  It felt numb and achy and tingly all at once.  This was definitely not normal.  I texted Jacob again.  I laid on the bed and actually thought, "Am I having a heart attack?"

Jacob, now concerned, called from work.  "Do you need to go to the ER?"  he asked.  I have been to the ER so many times this year that it is really just ridiculous.  I refused to go unless I absolutely had to.  I told him that I didn't think I was having a heart attack, but something wasn't right.  I told him to just go back to work and maybe it would go away.  He was all dressed up and preparing to give a presentation and we made jokes about how it was probably just indigestion.  Not too long after he called I started feeling lightheaded, dizzy, and short of breath.  I texted Jacob again and said, "You know, this isn't right.  Maybe I should get it checked out."  He said, "I'll take you in."

And he did.  I learned that if you walk into the ER and say, "I have chest pains and my left arm feels weird," they move really quickly!  They had me hooked up to 50 different things within minutes. They took X-rays and did lab work.  My blood pressure was low, so they gave me fluids via an IV. One of the RN's came in and asked what my name was, when I told him he said, "Astley?  Like Rick Astley!" and started singing a Rick Astley song.  (It's official.  My life is a sitcom.  Sadly, I'm okay with that! LOL)  After an hour or so the doctor came back in and said, "Your heart is wonderfully healthy."  I sighed in relief.  I mean, come on!  We walk around in these bodies that we are constantly told to take care of and you never know when something is just suddenly going to go horribly wrong.

(The radiologic tech had a speech impairment.  She was sweet and very cool.  I couldn't help but think of my sweet Alex and remind myself that he really CAN do anything he wants when he grows up. He has more than speech to struggle with every day, but he is strong and determined and I KNOW he can be whatever he wants to be! I really enjoyed meeting her!)

I had a sinus infection a few weeks ago which turned into pneumonia.  Apparently, the pneumonia caused inflammation around my heart. The medical term for this is "Pericarditis."  He said that sometimes it can be so inflamed that the heart has trouble beating because it's hitting the inflamed areas, but other than that it isn't too big of a concern.  He reassured me, again, that my heart and everything else was perfectly healthy and told me what to do and what medications to take until this problem goes away.

Jacob got to spend a little extra time with Kaitlyn. We learned a new medical term and learned about a medical condition we had never heard of and I, once again, added a little excitement to our already busy and exciting lives.  This is just how we roll, people. ;)

Last night after dinner Jacob said to the kids, "Your mother is taking the whole 'in sickness and health' thing really seriously."  All I could do was try not to laugh because it was just so funny.  He should get some kind of award for having to put up with me DAILY!  He is awesome and I am so thankful to have him in my life.

Now, on to new adventures!

"Diet" Is A Dirty Word!

    Well, hello there, happy eaters! I have had so many people ask me about my diet.  First of all, let me just say that in our house we don't use the term "diet."  Diet is one of those evil words that just gets people into trouble.  When you diet you cut out bad foods and eat healthy foods for a short period of time.  You get to a point where you can't stand it anymore and you binge.  It's not about dieting.  It's about a life style change. Secondly, I'm not posting this to brag, many have asked about the changes we have made in our diet and it's easier to write it in a blog than to share with each person individually. Thirdly, and quite possibly most important, I'm not judging anyone. It is not my mission to try and get others to eat better or exercise.  To each his own.  This is just a chapter in my story that I thought I'd share since so many have asked about it.

     In our house, Jacob took the lead in healthy eating last fall.  I informed him that I wasn't doing it until after Christmas because there is GOOD food around Christmastime and I didn't want to miss it.  He said, "Okay."  I enjoyed my unhealthy good food all December long and then in January it was time to get serious.  Since Jacob and I decided to make life style changes together it is much easier.  We rarely eat processed meats.  Sadly, things like bacon and deli meat are loaded with fat, salt and nitrates.  We eat meats high in protein but lower in fat--meats that are unprocessed.  We eat whole grain pasta instead of regular pasta. Bye bye white rice . . . hello whole grain rice.  We also said goodbye to salad dressings which are high in fat and calories and offer very little nutritional value. We no longer drink sodas or juice, with the exception of vegetable juice.  We go through 3 or 4 dozen eggs a week (protein, people). We eat a lot of fresh fruits and vegetables and we have cut out cheese.  GASP!  (Did I really just say that?)  Yes, cutting out cheese, which is full of fat AND cutting out salt was one of the healthier choices we made.  NOW, we DO eat cheese from time to time, maybe once every couple of weeks, but that's it.  We get our calcium and vitamin C from other dairy products as well as vegetables. We no longer eat chips or anything that is processed (with the exception of Goldfish crackers we give to our children, of course--I can no longer stand to eat them because they taste, well, processed).  We completely changed how we eat.  We still eat out from time to time and we'll grill burgers and have fries but not every week.  These changes have not only helped us to lose weight in a healthy way, given us more energy and made us feel healthier, but it has also brought us to a point where we can't stand processed food.  Yes, it's true.  We have become "those" people. It all just tastes weird now.  Even eating out isn't as fun as it once was because everything just tastes greasy or salty.  Jacob has been doing it since October and I have been doing it since January--it's not a diet, it's a lifestyle change.  Those foods I just knew I'd miss?  Yeah, I don't miss them at all.

    Along with these healthier eating habits we exercise every day. I'm up by 5:30 and I exercise.   Cardio kickboxing, jumping rope, jumping jacks, chin ups, push ups, riding the exercise bike, lifting weights--it is a stress reliever and it helps wake me up before the day starts.  I now really enjoy it.  I mean, I feel healthier . . . what's not to love.  An added bonus is that our kids are learning to eat healthy and exercise through our example.

Think Happy Thoughts

“Your emotions are the slaves to your thoughts, and you are the slave to your emotions.” 
― Elizabeth Gilbert

      Our lives, our decisions, the very thread of our being are ruled by our emotions.  Too often the good emotions are overlooked and the negative emotions tend to control us.  When things are going well we tend to pay no attention to it; yet, when the sidewalk starts to crumble beneath our feet and the sky opens up with cold, sharp rocks of hail that sting with each forceful hit, we come to appreciate those happy times. We long for them.  We cry out and beg to have those sunshine filled days returned to us.  Life presents itself in cycles--waves of good and bad.  Each one taking it's turn--back and forth, back and forth.  We get knocked down and sometimes we feel overwhelmed as wave after wave hits us. Eventually, the waves seem to shrink and we can, once again, laugh and play in small, gentler (dare I say, "happy") waves. 

       This past year has hit my family with wave after wave. Good waves followed by bad waves--back and forth (and so goes the pattern).  We have been covered by waves of relief and happiness and then knocked down by waves of sadness and stress.  There were times when we just wanted to lean back, let the waves pull us under and give up. Life IS hard, but our negative emotions tend to make things seem even worse. Over the past year we have learned just how strong we really are. Kaitlyn had surgery and then had to have a second surgery to fix an issue with the first surgery. Jacob has lost two grandparents in the past year (well, a little over a year). Alex saw even more specialists and had some tests run by a neurologist. We received a diagnosis that we already (sort of) knew about, but it still stung when we got that phone call breathing life into our fears and concerns.  My body was feeling left out so it started having issues of it's own.  I had surgery, have been in and out of the hospital, have had many tests (with more on the way).  The medical stuff is stressful and tiring, then you get the news that everything looks okay and you breathe a sigh of relief.  The relief is short-lived when the bills start rolling in and you're struggling to budget everything in a way that will make it all work.  The list goes on and on. What a year it has been! 

      Waves of happiness exist in this scene as well. We have been met with so many good things: a new town filled with amazing new people who have accepted us as their own, befriended us, encouraged us, prayed for us, loved us, and helped us when we have needed it.  We watched Alex come to life, in a sense, over this past year. We had no rough mornings, no begging not to go to school.  We watched him thrive. We watched his personality grow and we watched him become more outgoing and more sure of himself.  I watched my husband thrive at a higher paying job at a bigger university. 

      The really cool thing I've learned is that you don't have to be a slave to your emotions (the bad ones in any case). Sure we have a ton of medical bills we're having to make payments on and money is tight. There is medical stuff going on and other things as well (such is life). It's a stressful situation and I could sit around and worry, make myself sick over it and just feel sorry for myself. What good does that do, though?  Every storm ends--things won't always be this way. but we have enough to make ends meet--enough to feed our kids.  All of our needs are met. We're healthy.  We have a roof over our heads.  We can pay our bills. Once we learn to see the positive OVER the negative, those sunshine filled days we have been longing for can come back.  

      Focus on those bright spots--big or small.  Sure, bad things happen, but let's not forget to be thankful for the many blessings in our lives! Elizabeth Gilbert said, "Your emotions are the slaves to your thoughts . . . "  So, it's simple.  Think happy thoughts, people! ;)  Here's to happy lives! 

Attention Friends

One thing I have learned over the past few years is that relationships change over time (as time becomes less and less available). We are in the same boat--running around like crazy people trying to keep up with life. Most are understanding, supportive and encouraging.  However there are a few who often say hurtful things or become annoyed because you (the friend) aren't contacting them enough (or you contact them one way, trying to make an effort and they get mad that you didn't contact them another way). I'm nice.  It takes a lot to make me no longer want to be nice to you.  Our lives may be the same or we may live in two completely different worlds.  I have a kid who can't play sports, who is still learning to do things that kids his age already know how to do, I have a schedule full of doctor's appointments, therapists, specialists and at home therapy work that keeps me hopping.  Not only this, but I have two other children who also need love and attention and I make sure they get that . . . each and every day. On top of this is the every day life stuff, you know, laundry, shopping, errands, cooking, cleaning and at the end of the day I get to sit with my husband for 30 minutes to an hour before we go to bed.  The next morning, the alarm goes off at 5:30 and we get up to do it all over again. I rarely get time to myself, much less talking to my friends every day. Not only this, but here are a few other things that I would like to share.

Please don't tell me that my son is a reminder that you have been blessed with "perfectly healthy" children.  I know people think that, but you don't say it out loud!  Alex IS perfect just the way he is--and he is an awesome blessing!

Also, don't accuse me of being a bad friend because I can't sit and shoot the breeze all the time.  We all have lives and I don't get annoyed at you when I don't hear from you (or when I DO hear from you all I hear is how busy you are), so please extend the same courtesy to me. I'm not snubbing you or ignoring you, I just have two hands that are very full at the moment and we are just trying to survive!

And, while I'm at it, please don't tell me you're tired of hearing me talk about "special needs."  You talk about your child playing sports, school, losing teeth and winning awards.  That is your world . . . special needs is mine. The older Alex gets the more issues arise and the more things we have to deal with. If you can talk about your child passing gas in the car or laughing so hard that milk comes out her nose, why can't I talk about my child's struggles and accomplishments?  I didn't know that I wasn't allowed to talk about him or that I was supposed to put a paper sack over his head and hide him away somewhere.

All children are blessings.  All parents have their own parenting issues, triumphs and failures to deal with, and we all have busy, crazy lives.  Don't get annoyed at people for not being who you think they need to be--maybe they're just trying to trudge through the muck of life right now and don't need you tossing mud balls at their head while they do it! I never said I was a perfect friend . . . or parent for that matter (Newsflash!  None of us are!). . . so please don't expect me to be!

Most of you will read this and KNOW it doesn't pertain to you. ;)  Yay!  One person said something to me and, well, here we are.  You knew when we became friends that my world was a crazy one, but that doesn't make me any less of a friend.

Oh, and one last thing . . . we're too old for this, man!  Come on!

You See Crazy (Or Strange), I See FUN!

I get a lot of comments on our house. I have been told we're "brave" to decorate it the way we do (because home decor is the true measure of bravery--who knew!)  I have been told by numerous people that they like it but could never do it in their own home.  I have been told that it's interesting, strange, crazy.  Some love it, some hate it.  We love art.  We love old stuff.  We love literature.  We encourage creativity, individuality and, well . . . FUN . . . in our home. My gremlins have told me time and time again how much they like their home.  "It's fun."  "It's cool."  "It's not boring!"  In my opinion, if those living there like it that is all that matters.  Our interests are part of what makes us who we are.  This crazy mix of things in our home illustrates part of who we are and we like it . . . just the way it is. ;) 

So, here's to creativity, individuality and FUN!  Embrace it! 

                      A few of Kaitlyn's MANY books as you enter the living room. 

                               The bar.  This is the gremlins' favorite breakfast spot. 

                                                           The living room.  

                                               More of the living room! 

                                                       Our dining room.

                                                           Kitchen sink

Coffee Bar!!

Just Be Thankful!

The gremlins ate a very healthy lunch of Chef Boyardee ravioli today.  When it was ready I placed Kaitlyn in her booster seat and told the boys it was time to eat. Logan smiled and said, "I'm glad ravioli was created."

These kids never cease to amaze me.  Logan especially has a big heart for others and is always thankful for what he has.  Sure, he has moments like the rest of us where he wishes he had something he doesn't have (We as adults do it, he's an 8-year-old boy, of course he's going to do it), but most of the time he is happy to eat whatever I serve him, he's happy to have shoes and clothes, even if they're hand-me-downs. He's just happy. He's also thankful. It occurred to me today that we could learn a lot from him.

We live in a society that judges people by the homes they live in, the cars they drive, the things they have, the clothes they wear, or how much money they have.  It can be a hard world to raise your children in.  Jacob and I have tried to teach our children from day one to be thankful for what they have, we try to teach them not to be wasteful, and most importantly, we try to teach them to get to know someone and make opinions about them based on their personality, not based on what they're wearing of where they live. Logan is at a really cool age because he really doesn't see a lot of differences between himself and others.

It is so easy to look at some one or meet some one for the first time and quickly make judgments and assumptions about them.  It's easy to get caught up in the money game and become engulfed with the "I wants" but we all need to be reminded from time to time to take a look around and be thankful for what we have.  This includes relationships with people--if you want to nurture important relationships, then treat that person with kindness and respect. It is hard to keep a healthy relationship if you are constantly criticizing and making negative comments.  This is why people say real relationships are few and far between.  Be thankful for those relationships that make you feel encouraged and loved. See?  We have a lot to be thankful for. ;)

Some day, when my timeline on earth stops, I don't want people to remember me as being selfish or critical.  I don't want people to remember me as being snobbish or acting superior.  I don't want people to remember me as being hateful or cruel. I don't want people to remember me as being controlling, bossy or pushy.  I want people to remember me as being kind. I want people to remember me as having a positive attitude and never making anyone feel bad about themselves. I want people to remember me as being accepting, loving, helpful, encouraging and thankful for all I have--whether it's a little or a lot, it's always enough.

Surely, if an 8-year-old boy can be thankful for Chef Boyardee Ravioli, we as adults can be thankful for so much more.