Saturday, January 5, 2013

Making Peace With The Mirror!

Today, while walking to my car in a parking lot, a young man whistled at me and then yelled something at me stating that he liked a certain part of my body.  Completely inappropriate but, as a soon-to-be 35-year-old woman with three kids, a little part of me liked that a stranger didn't find me completely repulsive!  I shared this incident with my best friend and made a joke about how the young man must need glasses.  She didn't find my joke funny.  I also shared it with another bestie of mine who responded by rolling her eyes. This friend is constantly calling me "hot mama" and is a great self esteem booster.  She always tells me she loves my hair or that I'm pretty--well, just being called "hot mama" on a regular basis by your friend will make one smile.  LOL  My best friend is constantly telling me that she thinks I'm gorgeous and wishes I could see myself the way others see me.  I have thought about their reactions some today and came to this conclusion:  It's time to make peace with the mirror.  By doing that I would, in turn, have to make peace with myself, right?

In an earlier post I stated that I was going to accept myself.  My best friend has already taken the liberty of reminding me of that post.  I have read about women going on a mirror fast.  That is all well and good but what happens when, one day, your fast is over and you find yourself, once again, looking at your reflection.  The mirror isn't the problem--it's merely a piece of glass.  The way we see ourselves is the problem.  And for me, it IS a problem.  I never leave the house thinking, "I look so good!"  I leave the house thinking, "I guess I look okay."  And, honestly, I'm more than happy to go through the day without one person noticing me.

So, I have decided to make peace with my mirror. I know these two amazing friends aren't going to leave me alone until I do. My husband agrees with them and is constantly telling me that I'm "mean" to myself because I don't look in the mirror and see a pretty woman staring back at me.  I just see . . . me.   I may not be on the cover of magazines but lets be honest, how many women really are?  It's time to look in the mirror and see myself the way those closest to me see me.
It's time to make peace with the mirror . . .

. . . and with myself.  

Tuesday, January 1, 2013

Happy New Year!

Kaitlyn and me on New Year's Eve--just me, no make up or anything.  I wasn't intending to have my picture taken, but she and I were having a lot of fun and Alex thought we needed a picture! And you know what?  I'm okay with that. ;)

I have been reading people's new year's resolutions.  I don't really do the whole resolutions thing because most of the time life gets busy and they get pushed aside, if not forgotten completely. At least in my world. The new year does make me think about my life, though.  And I have been doing a lot of thinking.  So instead of making resolutions for a new year I want to just share some of things I want.  

First, I want to look in the mirror and be happy with what I see.  So many times the mirror and I just do not get along.  It seems cruel and hateful--truth is, it is MY reflection and it is MY mind that is cruel and hateful, not the poor mirror's. I am my own worst critic and so often I look in the mirror and hate what I see.  I want to start looking in the mirror and being happy with the image staring back at me. I told my best friend, Denisa, one day that I am ugly and needed to lose weight and let my hair grow out--more hair, less weight.  The truth is.  I like my hair short.  Some days I don't like how I look with short hair but it's so easy to fix. And one of my best friends, Brittani, tells me EVERY SINGLE TIME she sees me that she LOVES my hair. So, I think I've decided to keep it short. To embrace it for the cool haircut it is and stop feeling like such an ugly person all the time! I'm no Anne Hathaway but as far as I can tell, people aren't screaming and running from me as I walk towards them. ;) 

Secondly, I want to accept myself for who I am.  The world bombards us with images and ideas of who we should be, what we should wear, what we should like/enjoy.  In 2013 I will be 35 years old. Wow.  It's time to embrace who I am and enjoy what I enjoy. I'm a book nerd who enjoys writing.  I love coffee and all things vintage.  I enjoy old movies, art, literature, and cooking.  I am not a super model.  I am not a famous person.  I am a not a brilliant writer.  Jacob and I always say, "It is what it is."  Well, in this respect, I am who I am. Take me or leave me, but don't try to change me. ;) 

Thirdly, I do want to get back into the habit of kickboxing. Jacob got me the cool pink gloves for the punching bag and it is one of the things I enjoy doing. Since I had Kaitlyn finding the time to actually go out to the garage and do kick boxing seems harder, but I want to try and MAKE time for that. It is one thing I miss.  I love having the music blasting and punching and kicking the punching bag.  It's great for stress and everything else life throws at you. It's also great exercise and, let's face it, I'm not getting any younger. 

Finally, I want to be the best mom to my three gremlins that I could possibly be.  I love spending time with them and just being near their energetic, imaginative, big heart-ed world.  They make me smile each and every day and I want them to know that their mother loves them more than life itself.  Each year as I get older, they get older too.  I want to cherish every moment I can with them and be sure they know they are loved far more than they could ever imagine.  

2013 is here.  What kind of year will YOU make it?  I wish all of my wonderful friends and family a fabulous year filled with love, laughter, and happiness!