Tuesday, September 17, 2013

Phony Encouragement

She walked up to two other women.  She smiled and said, "Hi."  They acted excited to see her.  One said, "Oh, you've lost weight.  You look amazing."

She smiled and said, "Thank you."

They talked for a few minutes then she said, "Well, I better get going.  It was really good to see you."  She walked off and the two glared at her as she left.

"Did you see how much thinner she was?" One woman said.

"I know!" The other woman responded.  "I bet she's starving herself or something."

"Right? She's so weird."  They both laughed and went on to gossip about other things.

This was a scene I witnessed this morning.  No, these weren't teenagers or college students.  These three women were sporting some gray hairs and some wrinkles.  Gossip. Cruelty. And a little something I like to refer to as phony encouragement.  We're all guilty of it. We talk about how mean kids and teenagers are, but adults are just as bad. We are quick to judge.

The thing is, I can open my closet door and look at my pile of skeletons--and I've got some big ones.  I have a lot that I'm not proud of.  If we were honest with ourselves we could all admit the same thing--most of us DO have some things we're not proud of . . . secrets we don't want anyone to know about . . .and we go through life trying to fit into this cookie cutter that is socially acceptable and everywhere we turn we are not only being judged by others but judging others as well.  I am just as guilty as the next person.  Why is it so hard to see some one else succeeding or accomplishing something and to feel happiness for them?  Why is it so hard to encourage some people?  We try through fake works and emotions.  We have all become great actors on this stage of life--faking kindness to people's faces and then tearing them apart behind their backs. We all have secrets.  We have insecurities and we all want to be accepted.  So, if we all technically feel the same, why do we put so much energy into being fake and tearing each other down?  No two people are the same.  No two people have the same lives. And, while every life is unique, every life is also precious.  Every. Life.

Remember when we were little and people would tell us to remember the golden rule?  Perhaps, as adults, we are still in need of this reminder.  I pray that I am not heartless and hateful and I pray that I can become a better person.

Imagine what the world could be like if people genuinely cared and didn't just pretend to care. After what I saw today . . . I just want to do better. It bothered me, for some reason, and it has stuck with me all day. I want to be a better person.  I don't want to go through life handing out phony encouragement--or receiving phony encouragement.

What about you?

Tuesday, September 10, 2013


It's a bird!  It's a plane!  No! It's . . . SUPERMOM!!!!!

How many Supermoms do you know?  I know quite a few.  We learn from each other, encourage each other, and support each other in this journey called "parenthood."  Yesterday I spent my afternoon at the doctor's office, followed by the pharmacy, to the school to get Alex, back to the pharmacy to get medication for myself and Logan (that still wasn't ready), whined via text to my best friend about how I didn't feel well and couldn't believe they didn't have my medicine ready and I just wanted to go home.  I had all three gremlins with me.  Kaitlyn was screaming, the boys were bored and fidgety, trying their best to sit still and be good.  I was achy and chilled and had a fever, felt light headed and just wanted to be in bed. We eventually got the medication and made it home.  I can't remember the last time I was so happy to see my bed.

When Jacob got home I was already in bed.  He kept coming in and asking me questions (Where's the cooking spray, where do you keep the pans? What do I need to do for bed time?  Homework?) which was perfectly fine with me because I didn't have to get out of bed and actually cook dinner, feed the kids, clean up the mess, help with homework, get kids in the bath, make sure they brushed their teeth . . . the list goes on and on.  At one point he said, "Wow, this is too much to keep straight."  I remember looking at him and smiling.  My first thought was, "Welcome to my world."  My second thought was, "Thank you so much for noticing!"  Jacob is an amazing father and I know he notices all I do around the house and with/for him and the kids, but in that moment when I felt horrible and was basically useless to him and he had to do all the "motherly" things I usually do (tucking kids in bed, etc.) he REALLY noticed.  And, you know, I kind of liked it--because, honestly, I (like so many other moms) sometimes even forget just how much I do for my family.  I am not a perfect mother by any means, but so much of my time and energy goes into these three little gremlins we are raising.  I want to be sure they are independent, respectful, hard working, strong and grow up to be whatever their hearts desire.  I am always telling people that I have been blessed with good kids . . . and this is true, I have been blessed with good kids.  But maybe, just maybe, Jacob and I had something to do with that.  Most days I don't feel like Supermom but some days, I feel that cape blowing behind me, put my hands on my hips and lift my head up high and for a few seconds I savor that awesome feeling.  Then a child shouts, "Mom!" and I am sucked back into reality.

To all the Supermoms out there--take a minute to feel that cape blowing and savor it. Remind yourself that you ARE a supermom and you ARE making a difference in your child's life.  Hold your head high and know that even though you're not perfect (none of us are) you're the perfect one for your child--and that makes you super! ;)

Wednesday, September 4, 2013

Find Your Happy Place!

Yesterday I received a message from a person I haven't spoken to in years.  This person messaged me only to tell me that I post a lot of pictures of my children and that I talk about them a lot. (Has he ever met a parent before?)  After stating the obvious he ended with, "Don't you have anything else in your life worth talking about?"  Let me just answer with "Yes."  There are other things in my life I could talk about, but for me, facebook is a way to share stories about my gremlins and pictures of them for friends and family who live in other parts of the state . . . or country.  Here is the thing . . . I am happy with my life.  I am happy with my husband, happy with my children, happy with my place in life . . . happiness is something that a lot of people should try. Some one once told me that happiness is a choice--we can dwell on all the bad things happening and be miserable or we can focus on the positive and be happy.  So many people on facebook focus on the negative.  They post nothing but negativity day after day after day. If I am "forced" to look at your negative and sometimes even insane comments on a daily basis then why can't you stomach pictures of happy kids and positive statuses?

Saying I'm a stay-at-home mom gets such a negative reaction sometimes and people think I don't have a life because my family is my life. The truth is, I love spending time with Jacob and my gremlins . . . we all enjoy doing things as a family. I love my kids and I love spending time with them. As for me talking about them too much . . . let me just share something with you.  All three of my gremlins have a bone disease called Osteochondromatosis.  Alex and Logan have already had surgeries.  We know Logan will need more and Alex may need more as well as either surgery or braces on his legs . . . that is yet to be determined.  Kaitlyn is scheduled for surgery in about a month. They have doctors appointments with bone specialists.  Alex also has Verbal Apraxia, Oral Apraxia and Limb Apraxia.  He requires a lot of extra help and therapies at school and receives speech therapy and occupational therapy outside of school.  Between doctors appointments, therapies, surgeries and recovery, it is literally my life.  And, it's a life I love.  These kids never complain about any of their medical issues.  They are happy kids, positive kids, loving kids . . . they are truly amazing and I am blessed to get to call myself their mother. They inspire me each and every day. I am so proud of these three gremlins. I have a lot to talk about! Most parents want to talk about their children. Yes, I do post a lot about them but I kind of like them . . . you know . . . just a little. ;)

In a world filled with negativity, bad attitudes, and sadness we try to focus on all the good things, the positive things.  We have so much to be thankful for and so little to complain about.  Some people complain about anything and everything . . . that's not me or my family.  I will continue to brag about my gremlins, to post pictures of their cute, smiling faces, and share stories and should some one find all the happiness overwhelming and offensive . . . well, let me just say that I feel bad for you. I hope that some day you can find the happiness that is so obviously missing from your life, but until then, avoid my facebook page because it will be covered in smiling gremlins, statuses filled with stories about said gremlins and a lot of positive posts.  ;)  (Now, we're not talking about Alec Baldwin's character on Friends where he is so happy about every little thing, but seriously, how many people do you know who are the opposite of that and NOTHING good ever happens.  Well, good things DO happen but they're too busy focusing on the little pieces of negative to notice. It's time to find your happy place, people!)

Let me help get you started with a picture of HAPPY CHILDREN!  ;)

Have a super duper day!