Wednesday, June 25, 2014
One thing I have learned over the past few years is that relationships change over time (as time becomes less and less available). We are in the same boat--running around like crazy people trying to keep up with life. Most are understanding, supportive and encouraging. However there are a few who often say hurtful things or become annoyed because you (the friend) aren't contacting them enough (or you contact them one way, trying to make an effort and they get mad that you didn't contact them another way). I'm nice. It takes a lot to make me no longer want to be nice to you. Our lives may be the same or we may live in two completely different worlds. I have a kid who can't play sports, who is still learning to do things that kids his age already know how to do, I have a schedule full of doctor's appointments, therapists, specialists and at home therapy work that keeps me hopping. Not only this, but I have two other children who also need love and attention and I make sure they get that . . . each and every day. On top of this is the every day life stuff, you know, laundry, shopping, errands, cooking, cleaning and at the end of the day I get to sit with my husband for 30 minutes to an hour before we go to bed. The next morning, the alarm goes off at 5:30 and we get up to do it all over again. I rarely get time to myself, much less talking to my friends every day. Not only this, but here are a few other things that I would like to share.
Please don't tell me that my son is a reminder that you have been blessed with "perfectly healthy" children. I know people think that, but you don't say it out loud! Alex IS perfect just the way he is--and he is an awesome blessing!
Also, don't accuse me of being a bad friend because I can't sit and shoot the breeze all the time. We all have lives and I don't get annoyed at you when I don't hear from you (or when I DO hear from you all I hear is how busy you are), so please extend the same courtesy to me. I'm not snubbing you or ignoring you, I just have two hands that are very full at the moment and we are just trying to survive!
And, while I'm at it, please don't tell me you're tired of hearing me talk about "special needs." You talk about your child playing sports, school, losing teeth and winning awards. That is your world . . . special needs is mine. The older Alex gets the more issues arise and the more things we have to deal with. If you can talk about your child passing gas in the car or laughing so hard that milk comes out her nose, why can't I talk about my child's struggles and accomplishments? I didn't know that I wasn't allowed to talk about him or that I was supposed to put a paper sack over his head and hide him away somewhere.
All children are blessings. All parents have their own parenting issues, triumphs and failures to deal with, and we all have busy, crazy lives. Don't get annoyed at people for not being who you think they need to be--maybe they're just trying to trudge through the muck of life right now and don't need you tossing mud balls at their head while they do it! I never said I was a perfect friend . . . or parent for that matter (Newsflash! None of us are!). . . so please don't expect me to be!
Most of you will read this and KNOW it doesn't pertain to you. ;) Yay! One person said something to me and, well, here we are. You knew when we became friends that my world was a crazy one, but that doesn't make me any less of a friend.
Oh, and one last thing . . . we're too old for this, man! Come on!