Get Healthy

There was a time when I would eat whatever I wanted.  I'd prepare meals that tasted wonderful, but were full of fat or unhealthy ingredients.  I would eat sugary treats every day, telling myself I earned them.  Looking back now, I can't help but roll my eyes, shake my head and think about how stupid it all was.  I was never really obese, but after my surgery I dropped 20 pounds pretty quickly.  I had to be careful what I ate because part of my small intestine was removed and digestion wasn't as easy as it used to be.  I learned that greasy and fatty foods were really hard on my system and at times, even made me violently ill.  I now know that this was the best thing that could possibly happen to me.  It really opened up my eyes. When my 6 weeks of recovery was over I put on my awesome kickboxing gloves and got back into the groove of things. Cardio kickboxing (which I love), hitting the punching bag, riding the exercise bike and even doing a little weight training.  Jacob and I did a complete overhaul of our fridge and pantry contents.  We still buy some goodies for the kids from time to time, but we no longer eat junk and we eat very few processed foods.  We only eat out on rare occasions and we avoid sweets, except for treating ourselves to York Peppermint Patties (my favorite) on the weekends. I have more energy, I feel much healthier than I did before my surgery, and I don't miss all that unhealthy food, at all. In fact, most of it just tastes gross to me now.

I had an appointment with my doctor on Monday and he said my weight was perfect and I was at a "great healthy weight."  He talked about how even if you're a little overweight it is so unhealthy. He talked about all the risk factors and how you might not feel unhealthy but you are. We talked about how if you eat healthy consistently (Life style changes, NOT dieting) and exercise and get rid of the extra weight (and keep it off), you have more energy, you are more alert, and your body will be healthy and you will live longer and be more active in your old age. He talked about all the hidden risks with eating unhealthy food and how people will be overweight but argue that they're not.

I want to be healthy and now that I've had a taste of it, I like it.  This is our new life.  What's even greater is we're teaching our kids to eat healthy and exercise.  Eating in a restaurant or grabbing fast food is now a big treat for my kids because we no longer do it all the time. We feel younger, we feel healthier, we have more energy, all of those risk factors (diabetes, high cholesterol, heart disease, liver issues, etc) are no longer a concern because I'm no longer overweight.

It's a great feeling.  I don't miss the junk food and I'm happy with our new lifestyle and I LOVE that I have my doctor's support and encouragement!  Here's to a long, happy and very healthy life!!

Cherish Time

It's currently snowing outside. A scene that brings joy and excitement around Christmastime, but now, in early March, merely brings sighs and a longing for bright, warm Spring days.  We mumble and groan in disapproval, staring out at the gloomy sky from inside our warm homes.  Thick, white flakes of snow drift quickly to the cold ground, covering everything in a frozen powder. 

We missed church again this morning because the two youngest gremlins are not 100% well quite yet.  Kaitlyn was running fever again yesterday, has a horrible cough, is weezy and congested (hello, nebulizer!) and Logan sounds terrible and still complains of a sore throat.  The mom in me didn't have the heart to drag them out in the freezing cold sleet and snow, spreading their germs in the process. 

So, here we all are, like every other family, trying to make the best of it.  Jacob and I grabbed the New Orleans cook book and found a recipe for Chicken and Red Bean Gumbo that we plan to try for dinner. We have also taken advantage of this situation and spent time together as a family.  We stay so busy with the gremlins' schedules, not to mention our own, that sometimes it's nice to just sit and spend time together. 

It doesn't seem like that long ago Alex was a baby.  He is now 9, Logan is 7 and Kaitlyn is 2.  How did that happen?  How did time slip past us so quickly?  One day I will wake up, walk to the bathroom and see an old woman staring back at me from the mirror.  I hope that when I see her she smiles at me, happy with the life she has led--I hope she leaves a positive mark. As for today, I am thankful for freezing temperatures and icy conditions that keep us all inside, spending time together.  I enjoy listening to my children talk about their interests, their dreams.  Alex's dream of becoming a police officer one day in hopes of helping people.  Logan's dream of becoming a scientist in hopes of doing good and changing the world! Watching Kaitlyn walk around in Princess shoes, wearing a belt as a hat, carrying a little purse and wearing 20 different bracelets. "Look, mama.  Is pretty!"  

It is ALL pretty! Cherish every minute of it.

We are spending a lot of time here today--dining room table and living room.  This mom is loving every minute of it! 

It's Always Fun In Astleyland!

Our house is rarely quiet.  We have three children and most of the time we encourage them to express themselves, have fun and be creative.  We turn up fun music and the kids will dance.  The dancing is cute and makes me laugh, but my favorite part is the sound of their laughter filling the house.  Every night Logan draws a picture for me on the Magnadoodle and brings it to me.  He always writes, "To Mom, From Logan.  I love you," somewhere on the picture.  Alex will randomly walk up to me, give me a hug and say, "I love you, mom.  You're the best mom ever."  And Kaitlyn runs to me, hair bouncing, huge smile on her face.  I catch her and she hugs me SO tight and then pats me on the back.  I say, "I love you so much," and she says, "Love you."  The Astleys are a happy bunch who enjoy spending time together.  We just make each other happy!

Yesterday was Valentine's Day. We love to have any excuse to do something special for our three gremlins and Valentine's Day is no exception. Jacob and I don't do the traditional flowers, candy, jewelry stuff.  Flowers just die, candy isn't good for you and Jacob says jewelry is expected and he wants to surprise me.  (He buys me jewelry when there is no occasion and DOES surprise me!)  This rule applies to the gremlins as well.  They don't need a lot of candy so we don't buy them candy.  This year the boys received Thunder shirts and brownies (who doesn't love brownies). They have to ask before getting them (unlike candy where they just sneak pieces and eat it all day).  Kaitlyn loves Mickey and Minnie Mouse.  She got a new DVD of Mickey Mouse Clubhouse and was so excited when she opened it.  She held it up and shouted, "It's Mickey!"  

                              Kaitlyn's Mickey and Minnie holding hands!

I love Sara Bareilles.  She is a brilliant pianist and songwriter and she has the most amazing voice!  Jacob gave me the DVD and CD of her live performance at the Variety Playhouse and the sweetest, heartfelt card.  It was perfect and, as usual, he did an awesome job surprising me with something amazing. 

It's nice to go out and do something together--shopping, eating out, seeing a movie.  It's also nice to just sit on the couch together, eating York Peppermint Patties, watching a show we both enjoy and just being together.  We just love being together--whether it's decorating the living room for a fun movie experience, playing board games with the kids, acting out story books, cooking together or dancing around to fun music. I am blessed to have these four amazing people in my life and I thank God for them each and every day! There is never a dull a moment in Astleyland--and I wouldn't want it any other way! 

Bright Spots

                     My gremlins eating their special Valentine's Day breakfast.


One of my very best friends always tells me to look for bright spots when life keeps knocking me down. Now, whenever I think about bright spots, I can't help but think about her.  I'll admit, there are days when I have to really hunt for bright spots, but honestly, they are always there.

The past 6 weeks have been filled with Jacob taking me to and from the emergency room.  I had surgery and was in the hospital for nearly a week and was at home sick and on pain medication off and on for different reasons. The kids have been sick off and on as well. Alex currently has strep and, of course, we have other "exciting" things going on. It is as if we just keep getting hit with one thing after another.  I spent Wednesday morning in the ER and then that evening Alex started running a fever.  Jacob laughed and said, "I guess this is our life now."  It HAS been crazy and it seems that every day we are hit with at least one more stressful situation.

"Look for the bright spots."  My friend, Rene', has said this to me so many times that it just automatically pops into my head now (which is great)!  There are so many bright spots in my life.  My husband has a good job. He is so helpful with the kids and makes me feel so special and so very loved. My children have plenty of food to eat.  They have beds to sleep in, clothes that fit, coats, more toys than any three gremlins need!  They are healthy and happy. I have wonderful in-laws and parents who are always willing to help!  I have some truly amazing friends who are definitely bright spots in my life! The health issues I have experienced have been stressful and overwhelming at times, but we're thankful that none of them are life-threatening. The one that potentially could have been life-threatening came back benign. That is a SERIOUS bright spot.

Today is Valentine's Day.  Jacob and I always get something for each other and then get something for each of the gremlins. We try to make it a special day for the kids and we tell them that Valentine's Day isn't just about being in love and all that mushy stuff--it's about caring for those people who mean the most to you and showing them how you feel in fun and creative ways.  I made the kids scrambled eggs and heart-shaped waffles for breakfast this morning with a red sugar drizzle on top--they loved them!  I loved sitting with them and listening to them talk about kid things.  They can be so sweet to each other.  I love moments like that!  Today has been filled with bright spots!

No matter what life throws your way there are always bright spots . . . even if you have to go searching for them.  I'm so thankful for these bright spots and for the reminders to not overlook them!

What are the bright spots in YOUR life??

I Am No One Special

I am no one special.  I didn't grow up to be famous.  I haven't cured any diseases or invented some world-changing device.  I haven't written the next great American novel. I am not wealthy.  I am not well-known.

I am me.

A friend told me this morning that she respected me because I am my own person.  I like what I like.  I dress how I dress.  She said I have my own style and I am my own person. (That's a good thing, right?)  Then she said, "Yet, you are kind and go out of your way for people, especially those who are your favorites!"  I laughed and said, "Thank you," thinking she had momentarily lost her mind. She said, "I'm serious!  Look at your kids and your life!" Again, I laughed.

I am no one special.

Then, I started thinking about the people I love most.  My amazing husband, my awesome gremlins, my family, those wonderful friends in my life whom I love and respect so much.  Are they no one special?  No way!  They are VERY special--beautiful women in my life raising children of their own (some with special needs), reaching out to those in need, working full-time jobs, encouraging and supporting me.  A husband who works hard every day to support our gremlins and me--making me smile and feel loved and beautiful all along the way.  Three gremlins who test my patience, give out numerous hugs and little voices filling my ears with laughter and "I love you!"--making my heart swell.  I have so many amazing people in my life and when I look at them I don't see "No one,"  I see some really awesome "Some ones."

When you look in the mirror who do you see?  Do you see some one or no one special?  I know my children see me as some one special (at least for now, anyway).  My husband seems to think I'm some one special.  The amazing friends in my life seem to think I'm more than "No one special."

Sometimes I think we get so caught up in the daily grind that we forget that we DO bring something to the table.  We all offer something.  YOU offer something.  YOU ARE some one special.  Remind yourself of that.  Look at your life.  Focus on the many blessings you have and know that those wouldn't be given to "No one special."  They were given to some one special, and that some one is you.

Say What?

I read a status on Facebook this morning from a mother who stated that her child had homework over the Christmas break and she forgot about it. She wrote that the teacher better give her child another chance or this teacher's day was going to go south really quickly.

Really?

I had to read it three times to be sure I wasn't imagining it.  What is going on with some parents today?  We don't encourage our children to do what they are supposed to do.  Why would the 11-year-old remind his mom that he had this assignment due?  I'm sure he knew he could just not do it over the break and his mother would be rude to the teacher and get him more time.  When I was a child we did our work or we got a bad grade.  If I got a bad grade I was punished because it was my fault for not turning in my work, or not studying for a test.  In our house, our two boys know that they have to do their homework when they get home.  Starting today Alex's class has a new rule--if you don't turn in your homework you get a zero instead of an extension.  I can honestly say that we predict some zeros in Alex's future--he has a habit of shoving his homework in his desk and never bringing it home. Alex is 9.  He knows the rules and we have reminded him again and again that if he doesn't turn in his homework he gets a failing grade--and with failing grades he loses privileges. He sighs and says, "I know."  Should this happen and Alex starts receiving failing grades because he isn't doing his work we will not harass the teacher.  We will, instead, punish our son and encourage him to do the things that are expected of him. He will learn far more from receiving zeros from incomplete work than he ever will from not doing it and being told it's okay.

It doesn't end with school work.  My boys take out the trash every day.  If they don't take it out when they get home from school they get to take it out in the dark and much cooler temperatures. We are not going to say, "Well, it's dark out so don't worry about it, but please try to remember tomorrow."  Children are not fools.  Why would they remember when they could just not do it and then when it's dark be told not to worry about it?  I remember telling the boys to take out the trash one evening and it was already dark.  Logan said, "But it's dark outside."  I said, "Well, maybe tomorrow you will remember to take out the trash before it gets dark."  He sighed and said, "Okay," and then took out the trash. The next day when he got home from school, he put his back pack and coat away and then reminded Alex that they needed to take out the trash before it got dark. I hate to say it but a lot of parents are raising lazy children.  We baby them and if they don't want to do something, then we don't make them. What kind of adults will we have if we don't demand our children do the work that is required of them?  How can we expect them to keep jobs and actually function as adults if we, as parents, are constantly coming to their rescue, babying them, and telling them they don't have to do things they don't want to do?  The mother I mentioned above was ready to be rude to the teacher because her child didn't want to do the work over Christmas break. A teacher assigns something and the students don't care because if they don't want to do it, they don't have to do it. I really don't understand this.

I am not saying that I am a perfect mother.  I am far from perfect.  I adore my children! I find myself hugging them, kissing their heads, telling them how cute they are, how much I love them and how happy they make me.  I also make them put their folded laundry away, clean their rooms, make their beds, put their dishes away and take out the trash.  I make them sit and do their homework (if they bring it home) and I make my eldest attend his therapy sessions even when he protests. If I don't think they brushed their teeth long enough or well enough I make them go back to the bathroom and do it again. Sure, they complain and I use the age old line, "You should have done it right the first time."  It works.  Life is full of things that are less than fun; things that we don't want to do.  How can we expect to raise independent, hard working children when we tell them they don't have to do what is expected if they don't want to?

Parenting isn't easy, but neither is life--I want my children to be prepared! They won't be children forever. Here is to all of the awesome parents out there who adore their children and still make them do what is expected of them!

Do What You Want, It's Still Going To Be Wrong!

Ah, the adventure of parenting. I have recently come to the realization that, in today's society, it is nearly impossible to be a good parent. Let me explain.

I was at the store the other day and a frazzled woman was buying groceries with her two children--a toddler who was screaming and an older child who was begging for a box of Lucky Charms.  "But, mom!  It has marshmallows!"  The mom sighed and kept moving, forcing the child, who was now protesting, to move along with her.  I noticed two older women glaring at the mother disapprovingly and a young couple watching her in disbelief.  Let me tell you what they all were thinking.  The older women were shocked that a mother would let her children behave in such a way in a public place.  I can see one whispering, "My children NEVER behaved that way!" and the other one nodding in agreement.  The young couple were also surprised and were thinking, "My children will never act like that."  (Just FYI, young people, you WILL eat those words.)

There was another time I was in a store and a woman's child was whining about something and the mom grabbed the child, pulled her aside, and she snapped, "I said, NO and I don't want to hear another word about it or you WILL get a spanking when you get home."  Two young women who were over dressed for grocery shopping literally let their jaws drop and one said, "People are still spanking their children?"  No, because in today's society you are not supposed to punish bad behavior--you are only supposed to reward good behavior.  Yup, that works.

I was playing with Kaitlyn outside of Big Lots one evening while my boys were ringing bells with some sweet friends for the Salvation Army.  Kaitlyn was running up and down the sidewalk and I was right beside her. When she got as far as I wanted her to go I playfully grabbed her, swung her around and planted her feet gently back on the sidewalk facing the opposite direction where she giggled and took off again.  After doing this a few times and getting a couple of looks from some of the people near us, I stopped.  I had this thought that someone would call the cops and tell them I was abusing my child outside of Big Lots.

No matter what you do as a parent, someone is judging you.  People disapprove if you don't discipline your child in public. Should you decide to pull your child aside and try to discipline him or her in public, still people disapprove.  I guess we are supposed to raise our children in caves and release them into the world on their 18th birthdays. (Thank God for those older women who smile encouragingly and, dare I say, understandingly, when our child acts up in public.)

So, God bless all of you parents out there because no matter what you do, you're doing something wrong . . . and yet, somehow, we all have good kids who will one day grow up and be mature and hardworking members of society.

Go figure.