Life as a parent is never easy. You have to make decisions day after day regarding your children. As a parent, you only want what is best for your children. We have three children and our oldest, Alex, is a special needs child. It took me a while to accept those two words . . . "special needs." Doctors used them. Therapists used them. Eventually, I watched Alex with his younger brother and realized that every one was right and I was just being hard-headed. Alex was . . . and is . . . a special needs child.
And, quite frankly, all that really means to me now is that he is just extra special.
Logan is one day shy of being 16 months younger than Alex. They have always been close, which we now know has been really good for Alex. Logan will interpret for Alex when we can't understand what he needs/wants. Logan will take up for Alex if they are at a playground or some other place and children are bothering Alex. Having Logan has been great for Alex . . . and I'm pretty sure having Alex has been great for Logan, too. :)
Making decisions about Logan seem easier these days. They always seem black or white--we know what he needs and we can make a decision to do it. Things with Alex aren't so easy, though . Nothing ever seems black and white--everything just seems gray. Decisions don't come easy. Every decision comes with a lot of discussion, covering every possible angle and "what if," worrying, stressing, praying, second guessing ourselves and sleepless nights. We just want what is best for Alex. He has to work twice as hard as other children his age and still struggles. He has so many therapies and things going on--there are times when he just seems done with it and doesn't care to mess with it anymore. I can't say that I blame him.
Jacob and I are currently struggling over a decision regarding Alex that has occupied a lot of our time and thoughts. Those of you who know Alex know what an amazing little guy he is. I know that as his mother I'm partial, but I know of many of you who would agree with me. We want to do what is best for Alex. We also want him to know how amazing and smart he is. We want him to know how rich our lives are just because he is in it (and his siblings, too). Having Alex has really opened our eyes about a lot of things and it has taught me that children can be some of the most determined people out there. I am proud of this little guy--proud of everything he has overcome, proud of all that he has accomplished, proud that he never just gives up, and more than anything I'm proud that I get to say he is mine!! He IS a very special little guy and I am so glad he puts up with us!! ;)