A Day Of Thanks

It is that time of year again.  Time to stop and take a moment to see the many blessings in your life and to be thankful for them.

Every year on the Wednesday before Thanksgiving we have our own little Thanksgiving feast here--just us--before we load up the van and travel the next day to spend Thanksgiving with our families. Jacob and the boys really enjoy it and this will be Kaitlyn's first year to eat thanksgiving foods.  We have turkey, of course, and I make homemade cornbread dressing and homemade mashed potatoes and gravy.  We always have green bean casserole at other gatherings so I make Sautee'd Brussels Sprouts instead. We have a relish tray for a certain 6-year-old boy who loves pickles, black olives, and cranberry sauce.  We also have dinner rolls.  For dessert we have--every year--pumpkin and pecan pie with Cool Whip. It is a lot of work but my family loves it and that is all that matters to me.  It is a chance for us all to be together to celebrate something special and be thankful for each other, the food we are eating, and everything that we have and everyone in our lives. It is important to me to be thankful for all I have but to also teach my children to be thankful. Each night before bed they pray and thank God for one thing.  It is so cute.  One day Logan was telling me about a kid at school who had holes in his shoes but his parents wouldn't buy him new shoes.  I said, "Maybe they can't afford to by new shoes for him right now." That night Logan thanked God for shoes that don't have holes in them and it really touched my heart.

This past year started with our eldest having surgery.  Kaitlyn was hospitalized this year and a lot has happened.  We are thankful for so much this year! I am especially thankful for our families and for my closest friends and my very best friend for reminding me (again) today that instead of focusing on the stress factor of traveling for holidays with small children I need to be thankful I have a family to travel home to.  I need to be thankful for that time with them.  Wise words from a wonderful friend!

Happy Thanksgiving, world!  May we all take a minute to focus on all our many blessings.

A Decade!

This man--to say I love him is an understatement.  Today is our 10 year wedding anniversary and I still get butterflies in my stomach and feel a smile creep across my face when I think about him.  Some days I feel like a silly little school girl who is crushing on a boy.  I LOVE this man. He is respectful, caring, and funny.  He still makes me feel like I'm some one special after all these years.  He helps me around the house and thanks me for all I do for him and the kids.  He is encouraging and listens to me when I'm rambling on and on about stuff I know he could care less about.  LOL He still opens doors for me and when we go on dates, just the two of us, he will still open my car door for me. He is the best father to our three children--I love watching him with our kids.  My heart is his and I couldn't imagine a world without his smile, his strong arms holding me, or his laugh when he's playing with the kids. He is a friend to every one and never treats anyone badly or acts snobbish towards them.

When I first met Jacob I thought he was cute.  He tried so hard to get to know me and I just kind of didn't give him the time of day.  I was at a point in my life where I just didn't trust anyone and I had a lot of baggage and was kind of a mess.  I remember he would stand by the vending machines and wait for me every day before one of my classes and while I was getting a soda and candy out of the machine he'd talk to me.

We became friends and I realized that he really was a super great guy--and he was cute, too.  How often does that happen?  ;)  One day he said, "Would you want to get together and do something fun, just as friends?"  We did and it was a blast.  That night he asked me out.  I couldn't stop smiling.  He put up with a lot while dating me and he stuck around.  To this day I claim that he saved me from myself--and in a way, he did.

I can't believe it has already been 10 years since our wedding day and over 12 years since we started going out.  I love him more than words can express and I look forward to spending many, many more years with him!

You Can't Judge A Book By Its Cover

We have all heard this saying.  Sometimes we even hear it from the most judgmental people. Regardless of who says it, it is a very true saying.  We encounter different people every day.  We meet people who seem to have it all together and we do one of three things.  We either envy them or we find that we like them because they are happy and stress-free or we are jealous of them.  "They haven't been through what I've been though."

The truth is, there are a lot of people out there walking around with secrets.  Secrets from their past that they hold tightly because they want you to think they have it all together.  One of my favorite movies is Bride Wars.  There is a scene where Emma tells Liv that she doesn't have to have it all together all the time.  Nobody does and if you know some one who does they are either lying or just doing a very good job of covering it up.

We can't use our past as an excuse for why our lives haven't turned out the way we wanted.  That woman you encounter at your child's day care who is always happy and friendly and seems to have it all together--she has a very dark past that she had to work very hard to overcome.  Some days she sits and cries and feels weak and then she gets up, wipes away her tears, and forces a smile.  And, as they say, life goes on.

I am writing this little rant because this week I have encountered more than one person who just seem bitter because people they know are happy.  "If you had been through what I've been through then you'd understand."  This makes me smile and it always makes me want to say, "Try me."  Yes, I had a wonderful childhood filled with fond memories, but we all grow up and sometimes we don't make the best decisions and these decisions get us into trouble or worse--situations that we never imagined we'd find ourselves in.  It happens and it happens every day.  The difference is that some people choose to get up and take their lives back and CHOOSE to be happy while others choose to just wallow in the dirt and slime.

So, the next time you see that happy woman don't judge her and claim she is happy today because she has had an easy life.  Remember, you can't judge a book by it's cover. Whether or not your life has been easy is not the key to happiness.  You have to make a choice. So, what do you choose?  Are you going to be happy or continue being miserable and blame a hard past on that misery?

Something to think about, perhaps?
Yeah, that's what I'm here for. ;)

The Game of Life (Isn't Always Fun)

The past couple of months have been nothing like we imagined they would be.  Kaitlyn got sick and ended up in the hospital. Alex was sick last week (ironically he got sick exactly one month from the day we brought Kaitlyn home from the hospital) and we were in and out of the ER and doctor's office with him.  He is FINALLY starting to feel better after being ill with a high fever for a week.  Kaitlyn is now fussy and snotty, sneezing and coughing all over us. Logan is complaining of a pain in his lower tummy which we may have to get checked out.  I just picked up Logan from school because he doesn't feel well. I have my own health junk going on and it's like we're trapped in The Game Of Life and we keep landing on all the wrong squares.  Our fridge is leaking and the toilet in our small bathroom is spraying water from the pipe and walls are separating and things are falling apart and breaking.  We have bone specialist appointments coming up and quite frankly I am sick of doctors and hospitals, specialists and wish all my kiddos could be well for an extended period of time.  As a mother you try to stay positive and encouraging.  You realize one day that every single day is filled with trying to catch up on laundry, which never seems to happen, and cleaning the house.  The kids can't seem to stay well and you know more surgeries for at least one of your kiddos is in the not too distant future. Money seems to go out as quickly as it comes in.  After a certain amount of time you find yourself locked in the bathroom crying and pep-talking yourself into pulling it together and sucking it up.  It is what it is and you just have to deal with it.  Crying about it isn't going to change anything. You pull yourself together and step outside with a smile and get back to the laundry, messy house, and sick kids.  Some days I wonder if it is always going to be this way. Is that bad? Don't get me wrong, I love my husband and my kids more than anything in this world and I am so happy with my little family.  It's all the other junk I am growing tired of!

This morning Alex was very emotional.  He hadn't been to school in a week and has been so sick and he just wasn't ready to go back. He cried and clung to me and I told him that his friends missed him and were looking forward to seeing him and that he was going to have a great day.  By the time we got to school he was fine, but it's always hard on me. I'm sure it's hard on him to miss so much and then suddenly be thrown back in the middle of his crazy schedule.

I have heard people talk about life as being in a boat surrounded by a vast ocean, struggling alone to try and paddle your little boat to shore.  This past week (and last month while Kaitlyn was in the hospital) I was reminded of all the great people in our lives. All the friends who have become like family to us here in Edmond and our parents who called and emailed and came up to help. Friends who helped with the kids and brought us food, family members who live in other towns but came to see us and bring Kaitlyn gifts while she was in the hospital. People who have become a constant in our lives.  This morning I realized that most of my friends are in the same boat that I am in--we're all paddling together.  Makes it a little less overwhelming in the long-run.

So, as my best friend would say, take a deep breath.  Life is always throwing curve balls--let's be sure we're ready for them. ;)

Friendship

A friend is one who knows you and loves you just the same. 
Elbert Hubbard 

Last week I was reminded of just how important friendship is.  I was also reminded of who my true friends are.  I had friends text me every day to see how Kaitlyn was doing and to see if Jacob and I needed anything.  Once home I had friends bring us food, friends who offered to pick up my boys and take them to and from school, I had friends who sent cards and called to let me know that they were thinking about us and praying for Kaitlyn to get well. They filled our lives with encouragement and support and we were reminded that we're not alone.

Like most females I have a handful of close friends and an amazing best friend who are always ready to help.  They love my children and would do anything for them, for Jacob, and for me.  This week they reminded me just how great they are. I wanted to take the time to say, "Thank you."  A world without friends can be a lonely one, so I am thankful for the friends we have--for their love, support, encouragement, and the slaps in the face they give when I really need a reality check.  They are amazing women and I consider myself blessed to have them in my lives.  (You all know who you are. ;)

I Am Mom! Hear Me . . . Cheer!

At bedtime my children and I always read books. The boys each pick a book and we read it together.  I don't know how it happened, but a couple of nights ago instead of reading books we ended up watching the musical numbers in Pete's Dragon (One of the boys' favorite movies).  The boys knew every word and were happily singing along.  "Mom, listen! I love this part!"  "Watch, mom!  This is my favorite!" They were both in their pajamas and all snuggled up with me.  I loved every minute of it!

One thing I have learned as a mother is that sometimes it's good to mix things up. Another thing I have learned is that it's important to take time to have fun with your children.  Sure you want to teach them right from wrong and prepare them for adulthood, but they are only children for a brief amount of time and I want them to have so many fun memories that they have story after story to share with their children someday. Pretending to be pirates while we brushed our teeth, making yogurt covered blueberries while pretending to be a on a cooking show (goofy accents included, of course), singing along to musicals, making robots with their dad, and hunting ghosts, monsters, and aliens with water guns.

Parenting isn't always easy, but that doesn't mean it can't be fun!  We don't have our kids on a strict schedule.  (I heard that! Why are you gasping??)  They go to bed AROUND the same time each night and yada yada, but they have never really been on a schedule.  As babies and toddlers they didn't go down at a certain time for a nap--we just put them down when they were tired.  We didn't give them a bottle as babies every so many hours--when they were hungry they told us and we fed them.  We are doing this now with Kaitlyn. Every child is different and every parent is different and THIS is what works for US.  We encourage imagination and creativity. We encourage questioning everything in life and coming up with your own opinions.  We like cookie cutters for cookies . . . not for life! And you know what?  My children never threw tantrums in public and they never talked back to us.  They are respectful of other people. They are well behaved and well rounded children--and I would like to think that as their parents we had some part in that. ;)

And the biggest thing I have learned?  Cheering is the best medicine for anything your child is going through.  What an amazing feeling to cheer for your child.  I'm not just talking about in sports, either. I am referring to  cheering them on as they try their best in every day tasks. I want my children to know that I'm rooting for them no matter what they are doing--and the feeling you get when their faces light up because they know you believe in them is the best feeling in the world.

So, to all the proud moms out there--let's hear you cheer!!

Wake Up Call

Last week an old college acquaintance suddenly passed away and a friend's father passed away.  Death always makes you stop and think. Jacob and I were both raised in church and we were raised to pray before meals thanking God for the many blessings He has given us.  It's funny how life can catch up with you and God gets put on the back burner.

Every evening I have the boys each pick a book to read before bed.  One night last week Logan brought me their Children's Bible which is full of bible stories and said, "Mom, we haven't read this in a while."  He was right. So, we started again from the very beginning and made a deal to read one bible story every evening before bed along with two books that the boys pick out. The boys, Logan especially, liked this idea. Jacob and I talked and we are going to start praying before dinner and also teach the boys to not only pray but to be thankful for all they have.

Last week was like a wake up call. We aren't kids anymore and we're raising three beautiful children. I AM thankful for these three little blessing and even more thankful that they are healthy and happy.  Sure, there are medical issues but nothing life threatening.  We need to remember to thankful every day because things could have easily been different. We want our children to grow up in church like we did and we want them know God.  I want to raise them to be thankful, to be giving and caring, and I want them to have that sense of peace and comfort when some one they know is called home or when life just doesn't seem fair. My grandfather passed away over a year ago and Logan still talks about him quite a bit.  He always, "I'll see Great Grandpa Jack someday when I get to heaven."

Life is a journey--and I want my children's journey to be beautiful!