Ah, Christmas!

Christmas is my favorite time of the year.  I love the lights, the decorations, the music, and just the magic that seems to fill the air this time of year. I love finding that perfect gift for someone and then watching their expression as they open it. I love the traditions we have started with our children.  I love baking Christmas cookies and candy with them, sipping hot cocoa while we watch Rudolph the Red Nosed Reindeer and other Christmas classics.  It's just a fun time of year.

It is also a very hypocritical time of year. This thought has occurred to me over the years, but is becoming more apparent because of a certain 8-year-old gremlin.  So many shout about how Christmas' sole purpose is to celebrate Jesus' birth.  They talk about putting the "Christ" back in Christmas.  The sad fact is that most of the people shouting about the "Christ" in Christmas (NOT everyone, but A LOT) are the same ones who have actually removed Christ from the equation with their hypocrisy.  Were you really following Christ's birth you would give to those in need.  You would remember that Jesus was, in fact, Jewish.  Hmmm . . . so would he be celebrating Christmas or, perhaps, Hanakkuh (As you shout about not saying Happy Holidays because it offends you).

You put up Christmas trees in your home, which derives from the Winter Solstice, which is (gasp) a Pagan holiday. Snowmen, reindeer, Santa, elves, gingerbread men, wreaths, Christmas lights . . . all fun, all pretty, and all have absolutely nothing to do with Christ's birth. Taking it a step farther, your church has a Christmas Eve service so that you and your family, (who, don't forget, shout about keeping the Christ in Christmas) can go worship and, dare I say, CELEBRATE Christ's birth.  You don't go, though.  You, instead, take 5 minutes to read the Christmas story and then toss the book aside and say, "Who wants to pass out presents?"

People get loans to pay for things that their children don't need, yet when we see someone who is truly in need, we turn away and claim we can't afford to help.  I once read that if you truly believe that Christmas is about Jesus' birth, then you should be giving a lot away.  If you have two coats give one of them to someone who doesn't have a coat.  We gather with families and set out more food than we can all eat.  Sadly, a lot of that food gets thrown away while so many (in our own communities) are going hungry.

You want Christ to be in Christmas but when people ask you to give you puff out your chest and argue that you work hard for your money and instead of you following Jesus' example and giving, they should just get jobs.  Well, okay, you're entitled to your opinion, but what about that 6-year-old girl who comes home from school and goes to bed hungry because there is no food?  Or that 11-year-old boy who never wears a coat because his mom couldn't afford to buy him one?

We shout about keeping Christ in Christmas, yet we are the first ones to remove him by our selfish actions and comments. To those of you who speak of keeping Christ in Christmas and you give of your time, you give money, you serve, you help and you try to follow Christ's example -- thank you.  To those who shout about keeping Christ in Christmas, yet, you yourself do NOT keep Christ in Christmas, let me just remind you that you are the example for our children . . . WE are the example for our children.

I have an 8-year-old who is very observant and thinks about everything.  He has started asking me why certain people he is around talk about God and giving, but they do the opposite.  He has really made us think -- and notice other's actions. I encourage us all to practice what we preach.  Remember . . . the world is watching.  What is it they see when they look at you?

More Than Okay

We got out of the van after school and I noticed that my soon-to-be 10-year-old's shoes were untied.  The strings were just waving and bouncing all over the place, just begging to be stepped on so they could trip their wearer.  He started walking towards the building and I said, "Wait!  Your shoes are untied."  He said, "Yeah, I know.  They've been like this all day."  It was one of those moments when I stood there trying to get my "mom brain" to decode what my child was saying.  He stared at me waiting for a response.  Finally, I asked, "Well, why didn't you tie them?"  He rolled his eyes and said, "I don't know how."  I'll admit, I laughed.  I said, "You DO know how to tie your shoes."  He sighed and said, "Yeah, but it's hard."  WHAT? (In his defense, it IS hard, but . . . and I mean this with all the love in my heart . . . SO WHAT!)  I said, "Oh, it's hard.  Okay. So, you're just not going to do it because it isn't easy for you?  When did you start this?"  He shrugged his shoulders, turned away from me and started walking toward the building again.

As a parent, do you ever have days when you realize that you're sighing . . . A LOT?

As we walked my 3-year-old tried to strip.  Lifting her dress and revealing her Ariel pull-ups.  A woman with a perfectly dressed little boy gave me a look of disgust as I walked with my daughter who was practicing her stripping routine and my son who refused to tie his shoes.  She nodded towards Kaitlyn and said, "How old is she?"  I said, "She just turned 3."  The woman said, "Really?  And she's still in pull-ups."  I stopped, forcing Kaitlyn to stop and causing Logan to bump into me.  I looked this mom right in the eyes and said, "Yes, she turned 3 on Friday and sadly turning 3 didn't miraculously make her potty trained."  The woman glared at me.

Why do we, as parents, put so much of our energy into caring about what other parents are doing wrong (or what we think they are doing wrong).  Some days it seems as if we WANT other parents to fail. It's as if we wait for it and then, at their lowest, most overwhelming and exhausted point we jump out, point a finger, and shout, "Ah-ha!"  Some parents actually LOOK for fault in other parents.  Why?  If you have children you KNOW it isn't easy.  Not every family situation is the same and we are all just trying to keep our kids alive and ensure that they make it to adulthood.  So often, instead of encouragement, frazzled and exhausted parents are met with judgement and criticism.

As we walked away her son, who had to have been 5 or 6, pulled a pacifier out of his pocket and plopped it into his mouth. In a flustered voice she snapped, "Put that away until we get home!"  I smiled a Grinch-y smile because, well, it just proved that no matter how great of a parent you think you are, none of us are perfect . . . and our kids aren't perfect either.  We should be encouraging each other, helping each other, and giving each other support.  Let's remember to laugh when our child laughs so hard that he shoots soda out of his nose and then falls to the floor screaming, "It burns!  It burns!" in the middle of a crowded restaurant.  We are all doing the best we can and YOU are doing a great job!  Let's spend more time encouraging each other as parents and less time judging and criticizing.  Our kids are doing okay . . . and we are doing more than okay!  We should remind each other of that from time to time!

Selfishness Is Ugly

I listened as a friend shared how she had given up a few things in order to save up money to get a gift for a family member.  She was proud of the gift and couldn't wait to give it.  She later told me that the gift was received with much less excitement than she had hoped and that the person later mentioned that she had asked for something else and was disappointed that she didn't get it.  Sadly, I can remember doing this exact same thing to people as a teenager or in my early 20s.  However, when you're in your 30s, 40s, 50s, 60s . . . etc. you should be well past this "Me, me, me," mentality. I think back on selfish moments I had as a young adult and I feel embarrassed.  Meanwhile, people twice my age are out there still doing it and not giving it a second thought.  Wow.  I just don't get that!

Where have we, as humans, gone wrong?  So many put so much time and energy into material things and their own selfish nature. Let me state that there are no laws forcing people to give you gifts for any holiday or occasion and there are certainly no laws stating that people are to give you only what you ask for. My heart went out to this friend who had gone without and saved her money to get this gift for someone only to be met with a callous heart and a twisted sense of entitlement.  Sadly, the world is full of people like this.  The above story probably reminded each of you of at least one person you know who behaves in this manner.  We tell our children that they don't get everything they want, yet there are adults who expect to get everything they want.  But wait . . . there's more!  You go out of your way to try and keep these people happy -- to do whatever it is they want (to feed their selfish nature, so to speak) . . . and they don't see it.  Instead, it wasn't EXACTLY what they wanted or exactly the way they wanted it.  They are sure to let you know about it or make you feel bad about it. There is nothing like going out of your way to try and keep another person happy -- putting their feelings before your own -- only to have them be hateful to you and treat you badly because even though you went out of your way FOR THEM, you didn't do it the exact way they wanted it done and therefore, you failed.  It was a waste of your time; a waste of energy.

Jacob and I often talk about how every person should experience a time in his or her life of being broke.  A time when you manage to pay all of your bills and then try to get that remaining little bit of your paycheck to stretch enough to feed your family until the next paycheck comes through. I think most people have experienced such a time in their lives -- I know we have.  I am thankful for this time.  It is, quite possibly, one of the best things that could have happened to us.  "Why is that?" you ask.  This brings me back to us putting our selfish nature before other people. Humans are selfish; it's just our nature. Put something shiny in front of us and we drool and start calling it, "My precious!" We want what we want and we don't care who we hurt to get it.  Sadly, some people hurt others without even knowing it. They push people away with their selfishness and (here's the funny part) they're too selfish to even notice!  (Some don't even realize this blog is about them! LOL)

I was sitting in a waiting room yesterday with my three gremlins waiting for Logan's glasses to be repaired when Logan and Kaitlyn started fighting over a toy. Alex, growing increasingly annoyed with his siblings, said to Logan, "Just give it to her."  Logan snapped, "I'm making something and I need it."  Alex, after hearing me say this so many times to them, said, "Do you REALLY need it?  You need oxygen.  You need water.  Do you really NEED that toy?"  Logan sighed and said, "No," and handed the toy to Kaitlyn.  We often get what we need and what we want confused.  Logan is an 8-year-old boy, so it's to be expected.  Adults who act in this manner are the ones who baffle me. My kids NEED to eat. My kids NEED clothes and shelter and clean water.  They don't NEED the latest video game system.  They don't NEED a room full of toys.  As an adult I don't NEED a brand new car or a giant house.  When did we lose sight of the difference between need and want?   When did we become so selfish and start putting our own wants before the feelings of others?

Look at the people in your life.  When your day comes to walk through life's exit door what will they say about you?  I am not perfect.  I don't pretend to be perfect.  I am, however, trying diligently to teach my children to put others before themselves. I'm trying to teach my children the difference between what they need and what they want.  I'm also trying to teach them to be caring, loving, understanding, and helpful.  This is what the world needs.  It has met its quota of hateful, selfish, critical people.

Let's all go do something nice for some one else today!

Beauty In The Chaos

The house is quiet.  You're sound asleep, exhausted from the day's events.  Suddenly, the silence is shattered by your toddler's cries.  The mommy gene immediately kicks in and you jump out of bed faster than a Cheetah chasing it's dinner. You hurry down the hall to your child's room and she is sitting in her bed crying.  "It's okay, baby," You say in a soothing voice.  "What's wrong?"  In a weepy tone she says, "Chickmunks."  You're "Oh, baby, it's okay," face quickly turns into an "are you kidding me, here, kid?" face.  "No, sweetie, you can't watch the Chipmunks.  It's bed time.  You need to go to sleep."  In a beautiful and perfect world your child would smile at you and say, "Okay, mommy," roll over, and go back to sleep. Let's face it, this world is far from perfect and a toddler awake in the middle of the night rarely equals beautiful.  Her mouth opens wide and you brace yourself for the horrible sound you know is coming. She screams as if you are trying to hurt her, "CHICKMUNKS!"  You sigh and lovingly rub her arm. "No.  It's bedtime," you tell her.  Her screaming quiets and you breathe a prayer of thanks that she has calmed down, hasn't woken up her father or brothers, and is going back to sleep. She looks up at you and in a pitiful little voice says, "Candy?"  Ugh. "No, honey, you can't have candy.  It's 1:00 in the morning.  You need to go to sleep."  Oh no!  Here it comes again.  Her mouth forms a frown and then quickly opens, widening, and suddenly your ears are ringing.  She is screaming again.  "CANDY!"  Really?  "Okay, kiddo. That's it.  You may not watch TV.  You may not have candy.  You MAY, however, go to sleep like a good girl. You can watch Chipmunks tomorrow.  Okay?"  You breathe a sigh of relief as her mouth closes, she wipes her eyes and nods. "Hug and kiss," she says.  You lean down and hug her. "One, two, three," she says.  You say, "Okay, one . . ." (she laughs) "two . . . three!" At three she opens her arms wide, releasing her hug and smiles up at you.  You place her favorite stuffed animal by her side and tuck her in.  Then you hurry back to your own warm bed.

You had just fallen asleep when you hear, "Mom?  Mom!"  You jerk awake and look around the room.  Your son is standing beside you, obviously upset.  You jump out of bed again and quickly lead him out of the room so he doesn't wake his father.  Once you're out of the room you ask him what is wrong.  "I had a bad dream," he says as he cries. You go to the living room, sit on the couch, you hold him and say, "Okay, tell me about it."  He tells you every little detail. When he is finished you explain that it was only a dream and a cow walking around on two feet, breaking into children's rooms, and stealing their piggy banks will never happen. Once he is calmed down and smiling you walk him back to his room, tuck him in, kiss his forehead and say, "I love you,"  He says, "I love you, too, mom," and rolls over to go to sleep.  You walk down the hall to your room, and climb back into your bed again.

Not long after you drift off the alarm goes off.  You sigh and slowly crawl out of bed, like a sloth trying to get out of a tub of peanut butter. You stumble down the hall, past the living room to the coffee bar where you pour yourself a cup of coffee.  The first cup is always the best.  You hold your warm mug in both hands and breathe it in, feeling the steam hit your face.  You take a sip and savor it.  The house is quiet. 

The moment doesn't last.  In the distance is a rumbling sound.  You freeze, listening.  There it is again.  Is that thunder?  Suddenly a loud boom echoes through the sky (and through the house).  All three children are now awake nearly 2 hours before they are supposed to be. The toddler is crying, obviously frightened, and keeps saying, "It's raining!" The middle child asks if he can get in bed with his brother because he's scared.  The oldest child says, "No, let's not do that.  I'm up.  Mom, can we just watch TV in our room?"  You shrug your shoulders.  "Sure,"  The boys run back to their room and you put a movie in for you toddler.  She then requests chocolate milk and a Pop Tart and her blankie, of course. Finally, she is happy.  You hurry back to your coffee and take another sip.  Yup, it's going to be another long day. 

I plan to embrace every minute of it (even the earthquakes)! Here's to all the awesome super moms out there!  Have a SUPER weekend! (Come on!  You KNOW you've earned it!) 

Happiness Through Thanksgiving

The older I get the more empathy and thankfulness seem to be dying.

Yesterday morning we heard a man talk about how we should do things without grumbling and complaining.  Wise words!  We all know people who are constantly complaining.  Jacob and I have always taught our children to be thankful for what they have.  No, we don't live in the nicest neighborhood in town (which, honestly, is fine with me). We don't live in a big, fancy house (again  . . . I'm okay with that).  However, we DO have a roof over our heads.  We have food on our table.  We don't sleep on the floor because we have beds; we even have blankets and pillows. My children have clean clothes and shoes.  Indoor plumbing?  Yup, we have that too.  Clean drinking water, fresh air, heating and air conditioning . . . the list goes on and on. We take a lot of things for granted, people!  We have so many things that people in other parts of the world (some right here in our own country) don't have and yet, we pout and complain because we think we deserve more.  Why?  We have what we need and them some!

Children have to be reminded from time to time that not only can they not have EVERYTHING they want, but they also need to stop and take time to be thankful for ALL that they have. I do not want to raise children who expect everything they want and feel depressed when they don't get it. That is no way to live -- and we only have one life. There is so much more to life than the amount of stuff you have! I want my children to look around and see all the things in which they have been blessed. They live in a society that focuses on material gain.  I want my children to be content with what they have and not waste precious time grumbling about what they don't have or grumbling about some one doing something that they didn't like. The truth is that some adults are far worse than children when it comes to this.

Let's stop focusing on what we don't have and start paying more attention to all that we DO have.  Let's stop filling the air around us with constant grumbling and complaining and start finding happiness by being thankful for what we have.  Let's raise a generation of happy children who see what they have instead of what they don't have.

What are YOU thankful for today?

“We would worry less if we praised more. Thanksgiving is the enemy of discontent and dissatisfaction.” 
― Harry A. Ironside

My Life Is a Sitcom

Yesterday morning I woke up feeling exhausted, which isn't the norm for me.  I thought nothing of it, drank my coffee and dived head first into my day (because, hey, I have three kids and you seriously just have to dive in).  We did the usual hustle and bustle of breakfast and getting ready for school and once the boys were at school I came home and knocked a couple of things off my to do list. I played with Kaitlyn for a bit and then put her down for a nap.

Shortly after putting her down I started to feel really fatigued again. I did what most people do.  I shrugged my shoulders and kept doing what I was doing.  Shortly after my chest started hurting.  "It has to be heartburn or something," I thought.  I took some medicine and texted Jacob at work.  Not too long after the chest pains started my right arm started to feel weird.  It felt numb and achy and tingly all at once.  This was definitely not normal.  I texted Jacob again.  I laid on the bed and actually thought, "Am I having a heart attack?"

Jacob, now concerned, called from work.  "Do you need to go to the ER?"  he asked.  I have been to the ER so many times this year that it is really just ridiculous.  I refused to go unless I absolutely had to.  I told him that I didn't think I was having a heart attack, but something wasn't right.  I told him to just go back to work and maybe it would go away.  He was all dressed up and preparing to give a presentation and we made jokes about how it was probably just indigestion.  Not too long after he called I started feeling lightheaded, dizzy, and short of breath.  I texted Jacob again and said, "You know, this isn't right.  Maybe I should get it checked out."  He said, "I'll take you in."

And he did.  I learned that if you walk into the ER and say, "I have chest pains and my left arm feels weird," they move really quickly!  They had me hooked up to 50 different things within minutes. They took X-rays and did lab work.  My blood pressure was low, so they gave me fluids via an IV. One of the RN's came in and asked what my name was, when I told him he said, "Astley?  Like Rick Astley!" and started singing a Rick Astley song.  (It's official.  My life is a sitcom.  Sadly, I'm okay with that! LOL)  After an hour or so the doctor came back in and said, "Your heart is wonderfully healthy."  I sighed in relief.  I mean, come on!  We walk around in these bodies that we are constantly told to take care of and you never know when something is just suddenly going to go horribly wrong.

(The radiologic tech had a speech impairment.  She was sweet and very cool.  I couldn't help but think of my sweet Alex and remind myself that he really CAN do anything he wants when he grows up. He has more than speech to struggle with every day, but he is strong and determined and I KNOW he can be whatever he wants to be! I really enjoyed meeting her!)

I had a sinus infection a few weeks ago which turned into pneumonia.  Apparently, the pneumonia caused inflammation around my heart. The medical term for this is "Pericarditis."  He said that sometimes it can be so inflamed that the heart has trouble beating because it's hitting the inflamed areas, but other than that it isn't too big of a concern.  He reassured me, again, that my heart and everything else was perfectly healthy and told me what to do and what medications to take until this problem goes away.

Jacob got to spend a little extra time with Kaitlyn. We learned a new medical term and learned about a medical condition we had never heard of and I, once again, added a little excitement to our already busy and exciting lives.  This is just how we roll, people. ;)

Last night after dinner Jacob said to the kids, "Your mother is taking the whole 'in sickness and health' thing really seriously."  All I could do was try not to laugh because it was just so funny.  He should get some kind of award for having to put up with me DAILY!  He is awesome and I am so thankful to have him in my life.

Now, on to new adventures!

"Diet" Is A Dirty Word!

    Well, hello there, happy eaters! I have had so many people ask me about my diet.  First of all, let me just say that in our house we don't use the term "diet."  Diet is one of those evil words that just gets people into trouble.  When you diet you cut out bad foods and eat healthy foods for a short period of time.  You get to a point where you can't stand it anymore and you binge.  It's not about dieting.  It's about a life style change. Secondly, I'm not posting this to brag, many have asked about the changes we have made in our diet and it's easier to write it in a blog than to share with each person individually. Thirdly, and quite possibly most important, I'm not judging anyone. It is not my mission to try and get others to eat better or exercise.  To each his own.  This is just a chapter in my story that I thought I'd share since so many have asked about it.

     In our house, Jacob took the lead in healthy eating last fall.  I informed him that I wasn't doing it until after Christmas because there is GOOD food around Christmastime and I didn't want to miss it.  He said, "Okay."  I enjoyed my unhealthy good food all December long and then in January it was time to get serious.  Since Jacob and I decided to make life style changes together it is much easier.  We rarely eat processed meats.  Sadly, things like bacon and deli meat are loaded with fat, salt and nitrates.  We eat meats high in protein but lower in fat--meats that are unprocessed.  We eat whole grain pasta instead of regular pasta. Bye bye white rice . . . hello whole grain rice.  We also said goodbye to salad dressings which are high in fat and calories and offer very little nutritional value. We no longer drink sodas or juice, with the exception of vegetable juice.  We go through 3 or 4 dozen eggs a week (protein, people). We eat a lot of fresh fruits and vegetables and we have cut out cheese.  GASP!  (Did I really just say that?)  Yes, cutting out cheese, which is full of fat AND cutting out salt was one of the healthier choices we made.  NOW, we DO eat cheese from time to time, maybe once every couple of weeks, but that's it.  We get our calcium and vitamin C from other dairy products as well as vegetables. We no longer eat chips or anything that is processed (with the exception of Goldfish crackers we give to our children, of course--I can no longer stand to eat them because they taste, well, processed).  We completely changed how we eat.  We still eat out from time to time and we'll grill burgers and have fries but not every week.  These changes have not only helped us to lose weight in a healthy way, given us more energy and made us feel healthier, but it has also brought us to a point where we can't stand processed food.  Yes, it's true.  We have become "those" people. It all just tastes weird now.  Even eating out isn't as fun as it once was because everything just tastes greasy or salty.  Jacob has been doing it since October and I have been doing it since January--it's not a diet, it's a lifestyle change.  Those foods I just knew I'd miss?  Yeah, I don't miss them at all.

    Along with these healthier eating habits we exercise every day. I'm up by 5:30 and I exercise.   Cardio kickboxing, jumping rope, jumping jacks, chin ups, push ups, riding the exercise bike, lifting weights--it is a stress reliever and it helps wake me up before the day starts.  I now really enjoy it.  I mean, I feel healthier . . . what's not to love.  An added bonus is that our kids are learning to eat healthy and exercise through our example.