Signs Of Happy

This is me. A woman in her mid 30s who is HAPPY with her life.  Once upon a time I would look at pictures of myself and pick myself apart. Why?
I made a comment about the wrinkles around my eyes and Logan said, "Those are smile lines because I see them when you're smiling and you're always smiling!  Grumpy people don't have those.  I'd rather be happy and have a few signs of happy on my face than be grumpy and never smile."  Have I mentioned that I love this kid?  As women we all have days where we look in the mirror and pick ourselves apart.  We see nothing we like . . . nothing good.  My best friend always says she wishes I could see myself the way she sees me.  I am a grown woman with freckles, some gray in my hair, and some wrinkles.  And you know, I'm okay with all that.  I agree with my big-hearted little guy . . . it IS better to be happy and have signs of happy on your face.  And, I have to say that I love that he said I am always smiling.  What an amazing compliment to receive--especially from a 7-year-old boy! Now when I look at myself I have one more positive thing to say about my face--signs of happy. ;)

And why shouldn't we ALL have signs of happy???

Phony Encouragement

She walked up to two other women.  She smiled and said, "Hi."  They acted excited to see her.  One said, "Oh, you've lost weight.  You look amazing."

She smiled and said, "Thank you."

They talked for a few minutes then she said, "Well, I better get going.  It was really good to see you."  She walked off and the two glared at her as she left.

"Did you see how much thinner she was?" One woman said.

"I know!" The other woman responded.  "I bet she's starving herself or something."

"Right? She's so weird."  They both laughed and went on to gossip about other things.

This was a scene I witnessed this morning.  No, these weren't teenagers or college students.  These three women were sporting some gray hairs and some wrinkles.  Gossip. Cruelty. And a little something I like to refer to as phony encouragement.  We're all guilty of it. We talk about how mean kids and teenagers are, but adults are just as bad. We are quick to judge.

The thing is, I can open my closet door and look at my pile of skeletons--and I've got some big ones.  I have a lot that I'm not proud of.  If we were honest with ourselves we could all admit the same thing--most of us DO have some things we're not proud of . . . secrets we don't want anyone to know about . . .and we go through life trying to fit into this cookie cutter that is socially acceptable and everywhere we turn we are not only being judged by others but judging others as well.  I am just as guilty as the next person.  Why is it so hard to see some one else succeeding or accomplishing something and to feel happiness for them?  Why is it so hard to encourage some people?  We try through fake works and emotions.  We have all become great actors on this stage of life--faking kindness to people's faces and then tearing them apart behind their backs. We all have secrets.  We have insecurities and we all want to be accepted.  So, if we all technically feel the same, why do we put so much energy into being fake and tearing each other down?  No two people are the same.  No two people have the same lives. And, while every life is unique, every life is also precious.  Every. Life.

Remember when we were little and people would tell us to remember the golden rule?  Perhaps, as adults, we are still in need of this reminder.  I pray that I am not heartless and hateful and I pray that I can become a better person.

Imagine what the world could be like if people genuinely cared and didn't just pretend to care. After what I saw today . . . I just want to do better. It bothered me, for some reason, and it has stuck with me all day. I want to be a better person.  I don't want to go through life handing out phony encouragement--or receiving phony encouragement.

What about you?

Supermoms!

It's a bird!  It's a plane!  No! It's . . . SUPERMOM!!!!!

How many Supermoms do you know?  I know quite a few.  We learn from each other, encourage each other, and support each other in this journey called "parenthood."  Yesterday I spent my afternoon at the doctor's office, followed by the pharmacy, to the school to get Alex, back to the pharmacy to get medication for myself and Logan (that still wasn't ready), whined via text to my best friend about how I didn't feel well and couldn't believe they didn't have my medicine ready and I just wanted to go home.  I had all three gremlins with me.  Kaitlyn was screaming, the boys were bored and fidgety, trying their best to sit still and be good.  I was achy and chilled and had a fever, felt light headed and just wanted to be in bed. We eventually got the medication and made it home.  I can't remember the last time I was so happy to see my bed.

When Jacob got home I was already in bed.  He kept coming in and asking me questions (Where's the cooking spray, where do you keep the pans? What do I need to do for bed time?  Homework?) which was perfectly fine with me because I didn't have to get out of bed and actually cook dinner, feed the kids, clean up the mess, help with homework, get kids in the bath, make sure they brushed their teeth . . . the list goes on and on.  At one point he said, "Wow, this is too much to keep straight."  I remember looking at him and smiling.  My first thought was, "Welcome to my world."  My second thought was, "Thank you so much for noticing!"  Jacob is an amazing father and I know he notices all I do around the house and with/for him and the kids, but in that moment when I felt horrible and was basically useless to him and he had to do all the "motherly" things I usually do (tucking kids in bed, etc.) he REALLY noticed.  And, you know, I kind of liked it--because, honestly, I (like so many other moms) sometimes even forget just how much I do for my family.  I am not a perfect mother by any means, but so much of my time and energy goes into these three little gremlins we are raising.  I want to be sure they are independent, respectful, hard working, strong and grow up to be whatever their hearts desire.  I am always telling people that I have been blessed with good kids . . . and this is true, I have been blessed with good kids.  But maybe, just maybe, Jacob and I had something to do with that.  Most days I don't feel like Supermom but some days, I feel that cape blowing behind me, put my hands on my hips and lift my head up high and for a few seconds I savor that awesome feeling.  Then a child shouts, "Mom!" and I am sucked back into reality.

To all the Supermoms out there--take a minute to feel that cape blowing and savor it. Remind yourself that you ARE a supermom and you ARE making a difference in your child's life.  Hold your head high and know that even though you're not perfect (none of us are) you're the perfect one for your child--and that makes you super! ;)

Find Your Happy Place!

Yesterday I received a message from a person I haven't spoken to in years.  This person messaged me only to tell me that I post a lot of pictures of my children and that I talk about them a lot. (Has he ever met a parent before?)  After stating the obvious he ended with, "Don't you have anything else in your life worth talking about?"  Let me just answer with "Yes."  There are other things in my life I could talk about, but for me, facebook is a way to share stories about my gremlins and pictures of them for friends and family who live in other parts of the state . . . or country.  Here is the thing . . . I am happy with my life.  I am happy with my husband, happy with my children, happy with my place in life . . . happiness is something that a lot of people should try. Some one once told me that happiness is a choice--we can dwell on all the bad things happening and be miserable or we can focus on the positive and be happy.  So many people on facebook focus on the negative.  They post nothing but negativity day after day after day. If I am "forced" to look at your negative and sometimes even insane comments on a daily basis then why can't you stomach pictures of happy kids and positive statuses?

Saying I'm a stay-at-home mom gets such a negative reaction sometimes and people think I don't have a life because my family is my life. The truth is, I love spending time with Jacob and my gremlins . . . we all enjoy doing things as a family. I love my kids and I love spending time with them. As for me talking about them too much . . . let me just share something with you.  All three of my gremlins have a bone disease called Osteochondromatosis.  Alex and Logan have already had surgeries.  We know Logan will need more and Alex may need more as well as either surgery or braces on his legs . . . that is yet to be determined.  Kaitlyn is scheduled for surgery in about a month. They have doctors appointments with bone specialists.  Alex also has Verbal Apraxia, Oral Apraxia and Limb Apraxia.  He requires a lot of extra help and therapies at school and receives speech therapy and occupational therapy outside of school.  Between doctors appointments, therapies, surgeries and recovery, it is literally my life.  And, it's a life I love.  These kids never complain about any of their medical issues.  They are happy kids, positive kids, loving kids . . . they are truly amazing and I am blessed to get to call myself their mother. They inspire me each and every day. I am so proud of these three gremlins. I have a lot to talk about! Most parents want to talk about their children. Yes, I do post a lot about them but I kind of like them . . . you know . . . just a little. ;)

In a world filled with negativity, bad attitudes, and sadness we try to focus on all the good things, the positive things.  We have so much to be thankful for and so little to complain about.  Some people complain about anything and everything . . . that's not me or my family.  I will continue to brag about my gremlins, to post pictures of their cute, smiling faces, and share stories and should some one find all the happiness overwhelming and offensive . . . well, let me just say that I feel bad for you. I hope that some day you can find the happiness that is so obviously missing from your life, but until then, avoid my facebook page because it will be covered in smiling gremlins, statuses filled with stories about said gremlins and a lot of positive posts.  ;)  (Now, we're not talking about Alec Baldwin's character on Friends where he is so happy about every little thing, but seriously, how many people do you know who are the opposite of that and NOTHING good ever happens.  Well, good things DO happen but they're too busy focusing on the little pieces of negative to notice. It's time to find your happy place, people!)

Let me help get you started with a picture of HAPPY CHILDREN!  ;)

Have a super duper day!

The Hunt

I don't know what I was thinking.  I guess I imagined a crowd of therapists shoving each other and begging to work with Alex as he stood with his arms crossed glaring at them trying to figure out which one to pick.

Yeah, I don't know what I was thinking.

When we moved to Perkins a month ago we said goodbye to Sensational Kids where Alex was getting all of his therapies. It is about an hour away and between gas and driving, waiting, and driving back with a toddler we just decided, albeit sadly, that we would find some one up here. Everything else had fallen into place and we were hopeful that everything with Alex would fall into place as well.  Honestly, I should have known better. Sometimes advocating for your child can be so frustrating when you are dealing with people who don't follow through on their end.  Alex has now gone a month without services and sadly, when he speaks, I can tell he has gone without therapies and quite honestly, I am frustrated.

I have called and been transferred and then transferred again and then asked to leave a message.  I leave a message and never get a return call.  I actually did speak to some one at a certain therapy clinic and they sent me paper work to fill out, which I did and sent back to them as quickly as I could (because my son needs therapy).  I was told that it could take a couple of weeks . . . so I waited three weeks and called to check on the status of his application/paper work. The clueless woman I spoke to transferred me and another woman informed me that they needed some information from Alex's doctor in order to proceed.  I sat there for a moment letting that sink in and then, in my nicest tone I asked, "Was anyone going to call me and let me know that this information was needed?"  The woman was silent and then apologized.

I had taken Alex to the doctor a week before we moved and asked for this information and was surprised that it was never sent.  So, I called the doctor's office and asked about it.  They took my information and said that some one would call me back.  No one ever did.

Perhaps it is my own fault because I honestly had no idea it would be this difficult to get my child the therapies he so desperately needs. I made one last phone call today and left a message (of course) and hopefully I will hear back soon and this person will be more eager to work with my son.

We haven't even touched occupational therapy, yet and I don't even know where it is available.  One thing at a time, I guess.  Until then, the mother in me is frustrated that it has been this difficult to find some one to work with my child. My sweet mother keeps saying, "Just be patient, maybe you'll find some one better if you don't rush into anything," and "At least this way he can get used to being in a new school and a new town and house before jumping into therapies again."  Very encouraging words from the woman who raised me--words that I needed to hear.

So the hunt continues and I know that eventually we will find the right person for my sweet Alex--and just like everything else, it will all fall into place.

Our Little Adventure

Front yard and part of the house.

The boys on Lovers Lane.  It's beautiful! 

Things have been busy here in Astleyland.  OSU contacted Jacob and said, "We want you to come work for us."  He didn't even have to interview--they just offered him the job.  They offered him more money and we felt a change would be a good thing, so Jacob took the job.  That same day we learned that there was a house available in Perkins if we wanted it. The timing could not have been better and we talked about how everything was falling into place and it seemed "meant to be."  With only 3 weeks to pack up everything, make phone calls and all the other 5 million things you have to do when you move, we made the decision that it would be stressful and hard, but we could do it.

And we did.  It was stressful. It was very stressful, but we did it.  I even managed to get Kailtyn's room painted before we moved in so we could have her room ready.  She knew something was going on but she wasn't sure what and she was having a hard time with it. We moved in around 8:00 on a Saturday night.  By 11:00 or so everything was moved in and our parents and brother-in-law, Dustin, headed back to their homes.Everyone was exhausted and sore. We had Sunday, which we used to do some unpacking and then the next day Jacob started his new job. Things just didn't slow down.

Once we moved in I could NOT stand the boxes everywhere.  Most of my time and energy went towards unpacking and cleaning and getting things organized.  Today, about two and a half weeks after we moved in, there are a few boxes in closets that need to be unpacked but for the most part we are unpacked. And things are going really well.

In the beginning I was not excited about moving.  I didn't want to move.  I loved Edmond.  We had friends there. I thought it was a nice town and I liked it there. It was our home. We had been there for 8 years and I couldn't imagine living anywhere else. I worried about putting Alex in a new school, but I knew that moving was the right thing to do. We have been here almost 2 and a half weeks and I can honestly say that I like it here.  I love this house.  I love all the space we have.  I love that it is NICE and looks nice.  I love the yard.  I love all the trees all over town, all over our street . . . everywhere.  I love how friendly people are.  I love my boys' teachers and the schools.  I love the old buildings and I love that my kids like it here too.  And, did I mention that I love this house?

Jacob's job is going well.  The boys are enjoying school (for the most part).  Kaitlyn is adjusting wonderfully to her new surroundings--she seems to like it too.  She LOVES the back yard.  We are still waiting to hear about therapies for Alex, but once that gets scheduled everything will have fallen into place.

It was an adventure and I can't believe we did so much in just a matter of weeks, but we did and life is good.  This place is just beautiful and it is teaching us to find the beauty in everything.  Confucius said, "Everything has it's beauty, but not everyone sees it."  In this place, where we are now, with all the good changes going on in our lives, we ARE seeing the beauty around us . . . and we're loving every minute of it!

Thank You

Over the past week or so I have received a lot of messages, texts and phone calls from friends encouraging my family and me and asking how Logan is doing. We started this journey with Alex and now two of our children have had surgeries, with more to come. When we went into this "surgery adventure" with Logan we were told there could be nerve damage or paralysis.  We were so thankful when he came out of surgery and was moving his hand. During his follow up appointment yesterday the doctor asked him if he could feel it when he touched his arm. He could.  So many prayers were answered--There have been no complications and Logan hasn't been hurting.

And still, friends are checking in.

I have had several friends ask me how I do it.  My answer to this question is, "I just do."  Encouragement and support from friends and family doesn't hurt. ;) A couple of friends even told me that as mothers they would have been a mess.  The truth is, when we went into this we knew that there was a good chance one of our kids would have this disease, but we wanted kids so we had them. Turns out all three of our gremlins ended up with it, but they are still awesome kids! I have seen them make people smile, I have seen them encourage friends, and I watch them, Alex especially, overcome so many obstacles. I can't imagine a world without them in it. It is so cool to see all the people in their lives--the many people who love them sending us encouragement, praying for my kids and for us, and contacting me just to see how "the little super hero" is doing.

So, what is the purpose of this blog, you ask?  It's purpose is to say, "Thank you" to all the wonderful people my kids have in their lives.  Thank you for taking the time to get to know my kids.

We love you all!